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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29395461">shape without form, shade without colour</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese/pseuds/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese'>StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>inspired by wandavision [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s01e06 All-New Halloween Spooktacular!, F/M, Introspection, POV Vision (Marvel), westview is creeeeepy yall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:02:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29395461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese/pseuds/StopIWantToTalkAboutCheese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Vision knows two things: He loves his wife, and he is alive.</p><p>Why those two things are so important to him, he isn’t completely sure.</p><p>But they’re the first things he thinks when he wakes up, and the last things he thinks before he goes to sleep.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wanda Maximoff/Vision</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>inspired by wandavision [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>ToskaDre_Favs</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>shape without form, shade without colour</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is from T.S. Eliot's <i>The Hollow Men</i>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Vision knows two things: He loves his wife, and he is alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why those two things are so important to him, he isn’t completely sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they’re the first things he thinks when he wakes up, and the last things he thinks before he goes to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s strange.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stranger still are his dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s an android, synthetic, a robot, but he still dreams, and no, it’s not electric sheep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision dreams of </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In them, Vision is standing over </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself,</span>
  </em>
  <span> his </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead body</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He is surrounded by red energy, and the body he’s standing over, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vision’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> body, is cold and gray and he is filled with such an aching, soul-crushing </span>
  <em>
    <span>grief</span>
  </em>
  <span> that it consumes him almost totally. The scene jumps, and Vision is standing over himself again, the grief still there, but mixed with panic now, because part of the body’s head– the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stone–</span>
  </em>
  <span> is missing and then Vision looks down and his hands are pale and thin and </span>
  <em>
    <span>crumbling to ash–</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes the mistake of mentioning the dreams to Wanda.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They never happen again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because, of course, he is not dead, he is alive. He loves his wife, and he is alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, he thinks back on the dinner with the Harts. That night felt so long ago, now. He had been happy, then. He had been in love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>–But of course, he’s in love </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How could he have ever stopped?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision loves Wanda. He loves his children. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves his wife, and he is alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He isn’t sure why he’s afraid of his wife hurting him, or them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She would never do anything like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when he opens his closet door on Halloween morning, there’s nothing in there except for a bright, neon costume.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels sick. He wants to sit down. (Would she even </span>
  <em>
    <span>let</span>
  </em>
  <span> him sit down, if she didn’t want him to?)</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s just a costume,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a silly little costume. She wants you to wear it, that’s all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But the implications of it, of it being the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only thing he can wear</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only choice he can make</span>
  </em>
  <span>, are terrifying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lies to her about the neighborhood watch, praying all the time that she cannot see through him, that she won’t try to take control.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You can’t control me the way you do them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Can’t I?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision loves his wife. But she loves him more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loves him too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or maybe she never loved him at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she loved the </span>
  <em>
    <span>idea</span>
  </em>
  <span> of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Vision is only a puppet in her play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he was doomed from the start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But what Wanda cannot see is that there are more important things than their </span>
  <strike>
    <span>make-believe</span>
  </strike>
  <span> love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s Billy. There’s Tommy. There’s the people of Westview who </span>
  <em>
    <span>never deserved any of this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He arrives at the barrier, waiting with a pounding heart for the telltale red light that would spell his doom, but the night is dark and quiet. Empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can see the grass of an alien world through the barrier, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>sees</span>
  </em>
  <span>. For the first time in his life, his lifetime, his character arc of six weeks, Vision truly sees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>VIsion loves his wife</span>
  <strike>
    <span>, and he is alive.</span>
  </strike>
</p><p>
  <span>There are people suffering, there might be people dying, and Vision doesn’t remember everything, but he does know one thing. He does remember his primary function, what he was created for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keep humanity safe. Against anything that threatened it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if that threat is the love of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Avenger</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks, the word flashing through his brain, and then he knows what he has to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vision breathes in, deeply. He takes one last moment to think of his wife who is not his wife, and his sons who are not his sons, and does not think about what Wanda will do to him if she catches him before he can escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushes through the barrier… </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What did you think?<br/>:)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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